italian for beginners

those danes sure know how to make low-budget movies. handheld cameras, no special effects, natural lighting, sound recorded on location. i wasn't sure if we were watching home movies or an actual professional film. turns out the low production values weren't due to a lack of budget, but from adherence to a set of rules that were designed to "remove the bells and whistles from filmmaking.” this dogma/dogme movement was started to re-direct attention to the story and the characters. really interesting concept. "italian for beginners" is a much better "love, actually," but there are apparently better examples of dogme films out there. so, to denmark we will go.

before sunset

when before sunrise first came out, i loved it. for one, it was a feature length film about two people talking, and that was it. second, the conversations established a connection between two people that reflected the sort of moment you or i might have. and i'd never thought that kind of moment could be encapsulated or depicted. and while before sunrise was plenty good enough on its own, before sunset serves as the perfect eighty minute epilogue to the always nagging life questions: "so, what happened?" and "what if?"

i like to imagine that jesse from before sunrise/sunset is the alternate reality version of ethan hawke's troy dyer from "reality bites." i think i want to be ethan hawke, what of it?

hustle & flow

remember that timeless fairy tale about the pimp who turns into a crunk rapper? well, here it is on the big screen. i confess, i really wanted to see hustle & flow. now that i've seen it? could've skipped it. while the movie was certainly gritty and well acted, it couldn't quite stop itself from devolving into typical clichéd madness and ends up groveling for the audience's laughs and appreciation. the real highlight of the film doesn't come from watching "d-jay" pursue his dreams, it comes from watching terrence howard finally get his.

fantastic four

known intergalactically as "earth's first family of super heroes," the fantastic four isn't marvel's most popular or well known team, but they have been around the longest. as an avid comic book fan, i've never had more than a passing interest in f4; they were more influential than exciting. and really, that's how this movie stacks up. f4 should be the baseline by which comic book movies are judged. it's not terrible, it's not great, but it's more than capable of saving the day.

the cringeworthy casting of jessica alba as sue storm turned out to be fine. i guess libido will win out over fanboy, every time.

wedding crashers

someday, vince vaughn might be successful playing a character other than himself. but until that day comes, he'll stick to being the quick talking funny man. which is fine by me since his wedding crashers team-up with owen wilson and christopher walken is the most purely entertaining movie of the summer. "a light-hearted hilarious romp" if you will.

and similar to how brittany murphy overtook alicia silverstone in both career and hotness post-clueless, rachel mcadams will triumph over lindsay lohan after co-starring as lohan's second fiddle in mean girls. if she hasn't done so already.

charlie & the chocolate factory

you remember the original chocolate factory movie don't you? craziness, psychedelia, oompas loompas? re-mixing johnny depp and tim burton with the original should only sweeten the concoction right? sadly, no. this version about our favorite chocolatier starts off promisingly enough, but an hour into it, you start to suspect that the movie -- like japanese gum -- has quickly lost its flavor. i liked the geisel-ian "i hate kids" willy wonka but all the backstory on him was tedious and wholly unnecessary. we know willy is weird, who cares why? show me the wizardry, enough about the wizard.

the island

you know what to expect from michael bay by now: summer trash. michael bay movies are consistently high in production value but not necessarily engaging. still, his big hits (bad boys, the rock, armageddon?) outnumber his big duds (pearl harbor). the island never strays far from bay's tried and true formula of explosions, chases, and never ending ammo. the premise for the island is actually kind of interesting, but the movie never moves beyond time killing entertainment.

on the other hand, scarlett johansson looks ravishing as usual. even though i can't really stand seeing her in "normal" roles, since i prefer her quieter, quirkier work. watching her scream "RUN!" over and over again just doesn't do it for me.

american psycho

christian bale must maintain his playboy image by day so that he can kick butt under the cover of night. sound familiar? whereas "batman begins" attempts to shed light on bruce wayne's motivations, "american psycho" doesn't bother to give any motivations to its anti-hero, patrick bateman. bateman is just a killing machine with an ever growing appetite for "murders and executions," which isn't necessarily a bad thing. sometimes critically hailed as a dark satire on the eighties, i thought the film was a slasher flick -- without the benefit of on-screen slashings -- masquerading as a poor man's fight club. the movie left me as emotionless as its main character.

glengarry glen ross

based on a pulitzer prize winning play by david mamet, this classic about real estate salesmen stars pacino, lemmon, spacey, (ed) harris and (alec) baldwin. similar to “12 angry men,” the film is still essentially a play, with only a few location changes to spice things up and nothing to concentrate on except for the fiery dialogue. which isn't a bad thing since all the actors involved do outstanding jobs with their diatribes. however, some movie watchers might get bored with the lack of a plot or the "excessive" dialogue. neanderthals.

march of the penguins

penguins are people too! watch them eat, watch them swim, watch them shuffle around. watch them love and care for one other. if you’ve never seen the struggle that goes into making gushingly cute baby penguins, this movie will delight and enlighten. then again, with the languishing shots of snowstorms, southern lights and penguins huddling, this movie could bore you right to death. alright, i get it, penguins have to walk seventy miles – uphill both ways -- enough already.

i also don’t want my animals anthropomorphized, i want to know what compels an animal to shuffle seventy miles, not be shown every agonizing step.

almost famous

for 122 minutes in 2000, kate hudson was a sure-fire star. she was incandescent, she was a supernova, she was penny lane. sure, in the ensuing five years she's only managed to lose a guy in ten days and not much else but she's still goldie hawn's daughter -- and married to a rock star. so really, "almost famous" was both her breakout movie and an apt description for her subsequent career. the relevant point here is that cameron crowe (say anything, singles, jerry maguire) uses a semi-autobiographical story, patented cameroncrowe-isms, and the luminosity of kate hudson to craft yet another modern day masterpiece.

war of the worlds

(guest reviewed) inconsistencies abound in this summer blockbuster. suspenseful (knee-jerk style) but cratered with "plotholes" that can be crossed if you're (1) generous with leaps of faith, (2) awestruck by dakota fanning's talent while not put off by her teeth, or (3) a fan of tom cruise's signature "i'm burying my head in my hands to mask that i only have two facial expressions." movie-hop in for the first half hour of special effects and leave once buildings stop splitting in two. the movie has its moments but if you're looking for a coherent alien invasion movie, rent independence day instead. id4 comparatively looks like an oscar contender.