dungeons & dragons

i watched volume 1 of this series to see if it jogged my memory. it did. i've seen some of the episodes before. despite efforts to make the d&d world come to life, the entire thing suffers from the same thing every 80s cartoon suffers from: it's out-dated. long on nostalgia but coming up short on current enjoyment. it's cheesy, it's hokey, it's simple. it's like watching thundercats for a few episodes and realizing "hey, this sucks!"

rocky balboa

what'd you expect? it's rocky. i don't recall rocky talking so much, or that he was so prone to making speeches, but it's enjoyable as any of the classic rocky films. the only big problem here was that the fight scenes sucked. half way through the final match, the editing gets weird and they start to interlace the boxing with flashbacks, scenes from earlier in the movie, and it's all just very distracting.

curse of the golden flower

apparently i watched this with a whole theater full of my countrymen. seriously, 99% of the people walking out afterwards was chinese. we chinese sure got an eyeful -- of breast. the costume "design" consisted of a lot of busty chinese women (oxymoron, i know) in tight corsets. the day-glo set design was a bit over the top and the ending a bit non-sensical, but it's another melodramatic chinese movie in the same vein as hero, house of flying daggers, etc. lots less fighting though, which didn't really detract from anything however.

charlotte's web

who didn't deeply love charlotte's web as a kid? i guess it's odd that all these children would end up in love with a spider but the power of fiction is strong. so, how hard was it to make a spider -- an icky scary creature -- lovable on-screen? well, it's easy if you rely on using julia roberts' familiar voice. roberts' was able to make charlotte more comforting than scary. not big surprises here, but no huge triumphs either. just a direct live action adaptation of a children's classic.

night at the museum

another half hopper of a movie. we probably left at just the right time, after all the animated museum bits had come to life. it was probably all downhill from there. not that it was exactly uphill before we left, but anything involving a natural history museum is slightly entertaining for me.

seeing robin williams as teddy roosevelt gave me a kick though, for some illogical reason.

happy feet

why aren't all movie theatres hoppable? they should have a one price sees all type of deal. instead i'm forced to hide and lurk and wait for attendants to stop paying attention. it's part of the fun i suppose, but then you can get stuck watching half a film (or all of it) that absolutely blows -- like this one! it's like karaoke -- and tap-araoke -- with animated penguins. terrible.

donnie brasco

did you know that this movie was slated to be made much earlier but due to the success of goodfellas in 1990 and how thematically similar the two movies were, had to be pushed back (released in 1997)? pacino and depp are on top of their game and this movie is an enjoyable dip into the mafia world.

is anne heche annoying or what? what has she done that has been good? she's like the older, more famous version of gretchen mol.

fog of war

interesting and well made, but a bit dull. i mean, it's interesting in historical context and as a film -- basically just an interview with robert mcnamara -- but you really have to know the period and the crises to really get everything out of the film. i'm not that well versed in mcnamara's legacy so it was educational to be sure, but also tepid at times.

enron: the smartest guys in the room

while superb documentaries are being made these days, (some) people are trying to do too much with them. stop the ironic music, titles, and random shots of random things. it doesn't make sense. keep the "art" out of it and just gimme the information; especially when dealing with something complex like the enron scandal. after getting the gist of what happened, the documentary quickly devolved into a bad television biography.

stranger than fiction

to be fair, i hate will ferrell; also, i only watched the back half of the movie. tragically, i watched the second half. even then, i did enjoy some of the little fight club type of screen tricks, some of the individual shots were very nice, and maggie gyllenhaal was less annoying than usual. the central conceit of the film is a great idea but executed to make people feel warm and fuzzy; which i hate.

casino royale

if this is the best of the "new" bond movies then just kill me now. the opening credits were the best part about this film and it was steadily downhill from there. okay, we get it, the daniel craig bond is muscular and manly. the poker scenes are horrific. everyone knows what texas hold'em is all about by now, do we really need some terrible dialogue about it? speaking of terrible dialogue, the whole movie is packed with it.

i was under the impression that this was a prequel of sorts. but apparently it's more of a "reset" and the previous 20 bond movies are not part of its continuity. oh, okay, now it makes sense. not.

Top Five Movies

deja vu

denzel washington is the man. unchanging, unwavering, unlimited. well, actually, he's only unlimited within his limits, thus limited; but you know what i mean. regardless of the movie, denzel is always denzel. stick him in a tight, convoluted (sort of) thriller that moves at a good pace and you get deja vu. it's nothing you haven't seen before -- poetic considering the title -- but it's still decently enjoyable. plus, i can't resist a movie involving time travel or attempted explanations of einstein-rosenberg bridges -- from adam goldberg no less.

for your consideration

hey, i'm in love with christopher guest as much as the next guy -- more probably -- but even i can admit that this effort was weak. perhaps the characters are becoming too familiar, the laughs less uproarious, the concepts thin; something was missing. this is still better than 80% of the crap out there, but many of the laughs fade quickly. fred willard is, as always, the star.

does anyone else think parker posey is on the verge of wasting her career? her turn in superman certainly didn't help her any, and posey is suddenly, incredibly, middle aged (on and off-screen).

the prestige

one of the few movies i've been able to look forward to during this crappy fall movie season, the prestige turned out to be finely acted and, for the most part, well constructed. some say that "the illusionist" was better, but i enjoyed this particular magician movie much more than that one. i thought the way christopher nolan did the (to many critics, superfluous) time jumping from scene to scene was seamless. a bit of suspension of disbelief is required but then again, it's about magic: believe or don't believe, enjoy or don't enjoy.

the book version that sounds pretty intriguing. and reading up on the real life nikola tesla is very educational.

man of the year

(we walked in half an hour after the movie had started)
no "wag the dog" or even a "dave," this movie wasn't terrible but there's hardly anything meaningful to say about it. it was semi-funny, semi-skewering, but mostly just floated along with no real impact. it does makes you think about our current political state ("red state, blue state, why can't we just be the united states?") but the provocative moments quickly cut to another one-liner or another scene.

robin williams is likeable though, and i usually find him super annoying.

the departed

inviting inevitable comparisons to the original (infernal affairs), i initially decided that i liked the re-make much better. more exposition, more guns (not necessarily a good thing), more overt moments. however, upon further contemplation, i think the two movies are incomparable. the hong kong version is quieter and more about what you don't see. the departed is brawny, loud, and slams you in the face. both are worthy of viewing but some of scorsese's choices didn't jive with me -- too obvious perhaps. then again, i didn't exactly love infernal affairs at the time either, so maybe i just need to re-watch both films.

moving the setting to boston was great, as it's really the most logical american city to set up this type of tale.

fearless

we anticipate jet li's retirement from kung-fu movies to last about as long as jay-z's "time out" from hip hop. having said that, jet li is pretty decent in this movie. of course, the movie itself is just a hodge podge of kung fu cliches (despite being based on a true story) with some not unexpected plot holes and a general lack of exposition. the fight scenes are above average but nothing breath taking. in the mood for chinese? then watch this movie.

elizabeth

i've been trying to watch elizabeth for years. the oscar hype and awards this film received, plus the many nice things people have said about cate blanchett, seemed to make this movie a winner. once again, the oscars have led me astray. the movie is almost over-dramatic, with too few explanations for what is happening on-screen. without some historical knowledge on the viewer's end, it's very easy to lose the point of the movie. who are all these characters and exactly why is elizabeth surrounded by deception and turmoil? the movie won't tell you, wikipedia will.

sketches of frank gehry

i like to say that gehry is one of my favorite "architects." it's a self-aggrandizing statement. i know, maybe, five architects in total. still, i've always admired gehry's work and would love to see the guggenheim bilbao. i thought this movie would explain gehry's inspiration and methods. instead it made me like gehry less, as it seemed like he did more "found" architecture than anything with a particular vision. magical buildings, not so magical inspirations; the wizard had his curtain pulled.

murderball

i'd avoided this film for a long time because i figured you see one inspirational sports story you'd seen them all. and for the most part, i'm right. however, the characters here are pretty captivating and the stories and circumstances behind their current situation is very interesting. this is not a sports story, as the action scenes obscure the fact that quad rugby seems to be a game with very little defense. however, the film was able to make the players "cool." which is exactly what the participants wanted.

in one of the extras, the jackass crew hang out with some of the murderball stars -- and showing them a hell of a time. as steve-o says (paraphrased), "i'm always one stunt away from being paralyzed myself."

kicking and screaming

NOT to be confused with will ferrell's soccer comedy of the same name, kicking and screaming is about a group of 20-somethings trying to figure out life after college. noah baumbach's (the squid and the whale) first film is (overly) clever and has some nice moments but it didn't capture my attention for some reason. the characters are witty, but in a sort of annoying witty way. which is, i guess, part of the point. the structure of the story isn't engaging either.

the only reason i know about this movie is because espn's bill simmons said that it captured the zeitgeist better than singles or reality bites. so i had to see it for a comparison point. it's no reality bites, put it that way.

clue

a true classic. while some may be turned off by its somewhat slapsticky humor (of a kind i usually hate), the movie goes through everything so quickly that there's hardly time to dwell on the "bad" scenes. to think that they made a successful movie out of a popular board game, how great is that? just a fun movie all around.

i guess, maybe, if you don't know or enjoy clue, the movie could be a bust since it seems a bit "pointless." but if you don't know or enjoy clue, we probably shouldn't be friends anyway.

the black dahlia

the black dahlia has been getting reamed in reviews, and rightly so. it's nowhere near as good as la confidential and the quick resolution scenes are incredibly confusing. i had to see this movie because i've always been intrigued by the actual black dahlia case (and like james ellroy) but it's really not very well done at all. hollywoodland might have been a better choice. as for me, i'll just read the book of this movie and satisfy my curiousity that way.

scarlett johannson's career is not ever going to achieve the heights of "lost in translation" again is it? her work in most of her recent movies is just terrible. i can't figure out if she's a bad actress, or if she's just taking bad roles that don't suit her. at least she still looks good right?

the last kiss

if zach braff were any less interesting as a lead actor he'd be...i dunno, there's no comparison really. he's just so limp. this about sums it up. i did find "the last kiss" to be more enjoyable than garden state because, for the most part, it captured my attention throughout. of course, it captured it because it made me deathly afraid of marriage and committment but hey, a good horror story is still a good horror story. if only i could re-enact my face for you while i watched this movie. sheer abject horror.

and yes, the main problem i have with zach braff movies is how these bubbly brunettes just throw themselves at him. inconceivable in every way.

amelie

what's the world for a mischievious, but kindly, sprite? apparently it's "amelie." i've seen this movie before and absolutely loved it. upon watching it again, i loved it some more. just a beautiful piece of work. audrey tatou (pre-da vinci code) is amazing. the direction and style of the movie is amazing. the story is cute without being cloying. how is it possible to watch normal romantic drivel after watching something as cool and as well done as this?

pride & prejudice (bbc)

i've already expressed how much i enjoyed the keira knightley version of this movie. now i had to see the full 5-hour epic. the first shocking thing is how "common" all the actresses look. the great beauty is jane; who, as you can see here, is not exactly breath taking. that aside, the spunky elisabeth grows on you and this version of mr darcy (played by the inimitable colin firth, the object of many an english woman's lust) is perfect.

the hollywood version glossed over some of the finer plot details and this version fleshes out some of the dialogue and missing plot points. i couldn't turn the movie off and watched the entire thing all at once.

malcolm x

the physical resemblance of denzel to malcolm is pretty remarkable isn't it? many people call this the movie that spike lee was born to make and it's hard to disagree. for most of the movie, spike stays right on task informing and entertaining the audience. the movie definitely makes you think, if nothing else; which is good right?

the documentary included along with the movie was very interesting as a post-movie snack. it showcases the real malcolm x and many of his speeches from the movie; which were apparently taken verbatim. both spike's movie and this documentary were based on "the autobiography of malcolm x."

gi jane

having never watched the whole thing, i found gi jane to be inspirational, touching, and it left me feeling warm and fuzzy inside. think about demi's career trajectory, from teen queen to striptease to gi jane, how astounding. and to watch viggo before he became strider, fascinating. while gi jane isn't amazing by any stretch of the imagination, it sure caught my uninterrupted attention on cable.

jfk

my love for jfk made me sit very attentively through all 3 hours of this movie. i agree with the conspiracy theory so watching the movie was fascinating and cinematically pleasing. sure, kevin costner can't keep an accent to save his life but who cares? "jfk, blown away, what else do i have to say?"

miracle

somehow i was duped into thinking that miracle was a great movie. it's decent and interesting because the events depicted are routinely described as "the best moment in american sports," but the movie isn't cheery enough to be inspiring or gritty enough to be deep. oh well, just another sports movie -- albeit slightly better than most.

the making of documentary was interesting because it shows how the producers went to such great lengths to capture the accuracy of the hockey scenes.

trust the man

the romantic comedy genre keeps on cranking out the same shit over and over again. all you can really expect is a few funny lines that can be used during your own romantic comedy moments. judging by that standard, "trust the man" isn't that bad. there's nothing particularly new or revelationary (and not nearly as purely enjoyable as "the break-up") but it's a solid effort with enough funny moments to make it up for the cheesy romance parts.

world trade center

much more gripping than "flight 93," oliver stone's take on 9/11 was excellent in the first hour. of course, i left just as people were getting crushed by the towers collapsing so maybe the movie took a slightly different tone after the set-up -- i guess i'll never know. it's interesting to watch the movie and think about what the thought process behind "dramatizing" this movie for maximum emotional impact would be like and how fucked up that kind of is. "do we show people jumping off the building? should we zoom in?...."

the illusionist

what the hell has happened to edward norton? what was his last great (or even good) movie? maybe "25th hour?" but that was in 2002. sure he took a few years off but since his amazing high of primal fear, rounders, american history x, and fight club, what has he done? he's gone from must-see to slightly overrated. his latest movie is somewhat clever and entertaining but ultimately, not quite entrancing enough. will the real ed norton please stand up?

while we're at it, paul giamatti's being overused. he's great but now that he's everywhere, he's no longer fun to watch. he's this decade's version of kevin spacey.

step up

want every (dance) cliche in the book? here we go. combine some plot points from all the dancing/cheering/gymnastics movies of the past few years and toss in some almost acceptable leads and you get "step up." the dancing isn't bad but it's not "you got served." the plot is so generic (and devoid of wit) that its only function is to get you to the climatic dance scene ending.

the only reason to watch here is to get an eyeful of jenna dewan's (who? exactly.) toned bod and quite interesting dance outfits. but really, she's a poor man's denise richards / yasmine bleeth, so is it worth it?

rushmore

i knew there was a reason i liked wes anderson; and here's why. i'd never watched royal tenenbaums or bottle rocket but really enjoyed the life aquatic (despite other people hating it). rushmore was a treat and i couldn't stop laughing even as i was trying to fall asleep. the whole inane-ness and concept of the main character is just hilarious. i finally understand why jason schwartz has a career.

miami vice

already hugely wary of michael mann (last of the mohicans, heat, the insider) due to "collateral," i was willing to give this (once-)gifted director another chance. we walked out of miami vice within the first hour. just terrible. all the faults exhibited in collateral plus horrific dialogue, pacing, acting, and pretty much everything you'd look for in a movie. it's laugh out loud bad.

talladega nights

two terrible movies in a row? why not? we followed up miami vice with talladega nights. i only watched it because i had no other choice. i should have chosen suicide. while talladega nights is entertaining in the crudest sense of the word (and rather well acted), it's senseless drivel for the easily amused masses. "if you're not first, you're last." i'd rather have been dead.

little miss sunshine

what starts off as a fun, off-kilter story about a dysfunctional family devolves into too many wacky adventures that serve to slowly push you away with its absurdity. you'll laugh but you'll also leave feeling "what was the point of this movie?" for a nuanced look at a dysfunctional family, i'd recommend "the squid and the whale," which is just as funny and far superior. don't believe the little miss sunshine hype.

pirates of the caribbean 2

swashbuckling adventure or silly romp? driven by the antics of johnny depp, pirates is now a huge blockbuster trilogy. orlando and keira are simply window dressing, taking a backseat to johnny and the cgi folk. still, pirates 2 was hardly terrible. advance reviews tried to blow it out of the water but i found it to be generally amusing and entertaining.

then again, i re-watched the first one recently afterwards and was stunned by how much better that one was. maybe the third one can reach such heights again.

the devil wears prada

aside from the constant snipes at anne hathaway's weight (she's hardly fat, even in the hollywood sense of the word), the devil wears prada doeesn't exactly go for the jugular. still, the movie is amusing enough due to meryl streep's performance; anne hathaway ably pulls off what is essentially a "princess diaries" for grown up girls.

the outfits should have been better in the movie. nothing grabbed my attention and none of the clothing on-screen was even as fashion "forward" as anything you might see on carrie in sex and the city.

cars

it's hard to make movies as inventive and entertaining as monsters inc, a bug's life, toy story, and finding nemo isn't it? the hits can't keep on coming forever right? with cars, pixar shows off their technical skills but the story (and humor) were just run of the mill. this might have been great four years ago but when the best parts of this film refer to past pixar hits, that's not exactly a good thing. mildly entertaining overall.

superman returns

more like "he's back but what for?" brandon routh does a better clark kent than he makes a superman. when he talks it's like a little boy impersonating a super hero. kevin spacey as a villain is nice, but really, the two foes hardly interacted. why did you make a chick flick disguised in spandex and a cape bryan singer? too many superman inconsistencies (he's lifting a mountain of what is essentially kryptonite?!) and no climatic payoff dulled the experience for me. ok, we get it, superman is strong, he can lift things, let's keep moving along.

nacho libre

if there were oscars were given out for facial contortions that aren't annoying (ala jim carrey), jack black would surely be the favorite. while nacho libre isn't quite as quote worthy as napolean dynamite, it does have more energy simply because black is a better (but not more iconic) protagonist. both nacho and dynamite suffer from stretching out a few quirky ideas but at the end of the day, both will become pop culture references for years.

the break-up

summer chick flick or "how to be an asshole boyfriend but yet still be charmingly hilarious." i went in thinking the first option, i left believing the latter. vince vaughn is my hero. if anyone knows how to piss off a live in girlfriend turned ex-girlfriend, it's vince. i wonder if he ad-libs his own dialogue or has a team of disgruntled ex-boyfriends behind him. resembling a "swingers, now we're 30" movie with vaughn and favreau stealing the show, the break-up was charming, witty, and perfect for highlighting the absolute ridiculousness of two people (fighting) in a relationship.

the game also co-stars "grand theft auto: san andreas." i think cj (the main character in the game) got more screen time than 90%of the actors in the movie.